“Hairball” is a short story by Margaret Atwood that appeared in her 1991 collection Wilderness Tips. It was originally published in the New Yorker as “Kat”. It’s about a woman who’s been running a fashion magazine in Toronto after being noticed for her work on a small avant-garde magazine in London. Her style is too extreme and bizarre for a mainstream audience and she clashes with the board. She tries to figure out what she wants out of life. Here’s a summary of “Hairball”.
“Hairball” Summary
In mid November, Kat has an ovarian cyst removed at Toronto General Hospital. It turns out to be benign. She has the doctor save it for her. It’s big as a cocoanut, with hair, fragments of bone and teeth. She puts it in a jar of formaldehyde and places it on the mantle in her apartment. She names it Hairball and it makes an impression. Ger (rhymes with dare) doesn’t like it and tells her to throw it out.
He thinks she goes too far, like at the magazine. Kat knows they’ve had complaints from advertisers in the razor’s edge, an avant-garde magazine, that her work is too bizarre. Her insolence during arguments used to excite Ger, and he would kiss her roughly. He doesn’t have that feeling now, and Kat isn’t recovered from the operation. He sits with her a short time and leaves. She says his full name—Gerald—with mockery as he goes.
Kat transformed him from Gerald, when they met, to Ger and changed the way he dressed and influenced many of his tastes. She transformed herself in the same way, going through a few personas before settling on Kat when she went to England. She got the job at the magazine, starting in layout and working up to supervising whole issues. People in trendy areas adopted the looks she created.
She’s developed an air of authority, making people believe she knows how to make them alluring, for the price of the magazine. They don’t realize it’s all camera trickery.
Despite the status, Kat’s job wasn’t high-paying and she could hardly afford London. She had the advantage of not being judged by her accent and class, like English women. The English men leave or whine. She’s had two abortions because the men weren’t up for it. Kat started saying she didn’t want kids. Nearing thirty, she was losing energy and life seemed like it would never change.
This is when Kat meets Gerald. He represents a company in Toronto that’s launching an upmarket fashion magazine. He’s seen her work and wants her to lead the new magazine. Kat plays hard-to-get and Gerald expresses his strong desire for her to run this project. He names a high salary; Kat manages to hide her desire.
Kat accepts and spends three months getting used to Toronto. She seduces Gerald at the first opportunity right in his office after hours. She finds him banal and sweet. He isn’t funny or charming, but he’s eager and grateful. His wife, Cheryl, is fussy with middle-of-the-road tastes.
Kat has a rocky start at the magazine. She doesn’t have free reign as Gerald said. The board of directors, all conservative and cautious men, want the advertising to focus on more of what the customers already buy. Kat wants to present things that are new and different that will make people feel anxious for not having the right things.
Everything is a compromise. The name becomes Felice, which both sides can accept. Kat wanted All the Rage; the board wanted Or, French for gold. The board pushes back every time Kat wants to put some kink into the images. It’s been like this now for five years.
In the present, Kat paces in her living room, wondering if she stays because of Gerald. They don’t make the same amount of time for each other now. She doesn’t see other men, but feels she’s worth more. She might miss London. She opens a window to relieve the smell of the formaldehyde. She wishes Hairball could talk.
“Hairball” Summary, Cont’d
Kat feels something ominous. She hasn’t gotten many calls from the magazine, which means they’re getting by fine without her. She knows the signs of a coup. The next morning, she puts on an aggressive outfit and drags herself into the office a week early. The greetings are false. Ger wants to see her right away.
Ger’s office is decorated with Kat’s work. He looks very good in his stylish clothes. He breaks the news to her—the board is letting her go. They think she’s too bizarre and goes too far. He tried to prevent it. Kat can hardly stand. She restrains herself from yelling at Ger. She created him.
Kat realizes she’s been missing the old Gerald. The stable, unfashionable and uptight Gerald. She wants to be the wife in the framed picture and she wants a child.
Gerald will be replacing her on the creative side at the magazine. He’ll be able to build on what she’s done. Kat finds him pretentious but also wants him at the same time. He’ll write her a good reference and they can still see each other.
Kat makes it home in a taxi. She finds a five day old invitation in her box to a party at Gerald and Cheryl’s place. She has nothing to drink or smoke. She was always the one who had the upper hand in situations like this. She could be losing her edge. She’s thirty-five and could be out of step with young people. It feels like there’s a large gap in her life and she doesn’t know what she can salvage.
Kat has a sponge bath in the tub and almost falls getting out. She has a fever and feels something festering inside. She struggles to the living room. She puts Hairball on her coffee table, looks at it and listens. She views it as a child, a warped child with Gerald. She feels a sense of loss and cries. Hairball seems to tell her things she doesn’t want to know about herself. Realizing the absurdity of what she’s doing, she takes a Tylenol and goes to bed.
The next she’s a bit better. She thinks about Cheryl and Gerald preparing for the party as a happy couple. Gerald’s dirty fling is behind him.
Kat goes out and buy chocolate truffles in an oversized box and bag with the expensive logo on them. At home, she drains Hairball and sprinkles it with cocoa. She places it neatly wrapped and bowed in the box and bag. It’s Gerald’s too so he should have it.
When the party is in full swing, Kat orders a delivery taxi to take the package over. She knows Cheryl will open it publicly without disturbing the beautiful package first. It will cause distress and questions and pain, and reveal secrets. Everything will go too far.
Kat doesn’t feel well. It’s lightly snowing outside. She goes out and walks to the corner but then keeps going. She doesn’t feel guilty over the outrageous thing she’s done. She feels light and at peace, and temporarily without a name.
I hope this summary of “Hairball” by Margaret Atwood was helpful.